Dear phone,
We need to break up, and I really mean it this time. We spend too much time together and it’s really making me unhappy. I need to disconnect from you so that I can reconnect with the people I truly love, so this is my goodbye and I thought I’d let you know why we need to break up… you know, for closure and all …
It’s not you, it’s me
I’m addicted to you, I can’t get away and I can’t stop thinking about you. You’re meant to be helpful and keep me connected, but you’re making my life worse in so many ways…
You’re ruining my other relationships
People are always getting irritated if I don’t reply to them fast enough, or if I pick you up while I’m with them, but I can’t resist the temptation. I can’t go anywhere without you and we really need some space and time apart.
You never let me see my friends
You make it so convenient to catch up with everyone and what they’re doing that it’s made me lazy. I barely ever make plans to go out and see my friends anymore, and when I do, you rope me into staying home instead to make a new Pinterest board or watch someone doing a new makeup tutorial on Instagram.
You always want more space
Why can’t we just take a nice photo together without you running out of memory? I’ll tell you what, I need my space back! Our photos were meant to be fun but now they’re just distracting me from living in the now and I need some ‘me’ time.
You’re sapping all my energy
I waste so much of my day paying you attention that I don’t have any time for myself. Then, you decide that you’re out of battery just at the very moment I really need you.
You’re always trying to change me
I’ve had enough of you correcting me all the time, no, I wasn’t trying to type ‘ducking’, but you are ducking getting on my nerves. Just let me be me.
I spend all my money on you
As if you don’t already cost enough to run each month, you make me spend CONSTANTLY. ASOS, Amazon and all my other favourite shops are just too easy to access with you around. I need to start saving rather than spending so that I can go on a short break with my actual friends and have real-life conversations with them, and you’re not helping! A digital detox is definitely in order, and there’s no way you’re coming along!
Do you and your phone need to take a break? Take some time apart to reevaluate the important things in your lives, to reconnect with the wonderful world around you and get back to engaging in real life with real people; enjoying authentic experiences will do you a world of good…
Disclaimer: We’re not suggesting you get rid of your phone altogether, just that you learn to have a healthier and more beneficial relationship with it overall.
Here’s how to make the breakup as smooth as possible:
Step 1: Facing the problem
Did you know you spend an average of 4 hour per day glued to your device? Be it replying to emails, swooning on Instagram or creating new board on Pinterest that you’re convinced will change your life; it’s time to get to grips with how bad your problem has become.
Step 2: Understanding why your relationship needs to change
You may already have a vague idea of why you need to change, as you wouldn’t have clicked on this blog if you didn’t, but understanding the deeper meaning will help you keep on track in the long term. We’ve been wired to get a buzz when that little notification pops up on the screen and it really needs to stop because it isn’t making us any happier, is it?
Step 3: Going cold turkey
The best way to kickstart this breakup is to go cold turkey. And how to spend this time? On a short off-grid break of course. The lack of phone signal and WiFi, as well as breath-taking natural surroundings will make the whole process feel like a breeze. Use this opportunity to do something you really enjoy, like losing a few hours in a good book, go outside of your comfort zone with a new experience or spend quality time with your favourite people; disconnect to reconnect.
Step 4: Tracking your progress
Keep track of how many times you pick your phone up on your return, and your reasoning for doing so – how many of those interactions is to mindlessly scroll or out of boredom? Keep a tally for yourself and try to reduce the numbers each day. If you find this to be a struggle, delete the apps you find yourself most often absorbed into (goodbye Instagram and Pinterest) or go back to step 3; another digital detox is calling.
Step 5: Making it stick
To make this ‘new you’ last, without the constant need to touch your phone, what you need to make yourself aware of the benefits you’ve seen over the past few days. Have you been sleeping more soundly? Feeling more positive about life? Being more productive in your day-to-day life? We can almost guarantee that you’ll notice a chance, even in a short time. And soon the waves of panic you once experienced at the moment of realisation that your phone isn’t in your pocket will be a distant memory and you’ll feel a whole lot lighter having cut the virtual cord between you and your digital child. Sounds like pure bliss, right?
Disclaimer: Whilst every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of the information at the time of writing,
please ensure you check carefully before making any decisions based on the contents within this article.